Saturday 4 April 2015

malaphors



"you can take one man's trash to another man's treasure but you can't make it drink"

fun fact: the blending of idioms or cliches is called a malaphor.
my personal favorite is "we'll burn that bridge when we get to it."

it may seem like a very familiar idiom but it's actually a combination of "I'll cross that bridge when I get to it" and the old adage, "don't burn your bridges."
meaning that you haven't yet arrived at a life obstacle, but you're sure you'll mess it up when you do.

oh, how I absolutely love the English language.

Friday 3 April 2015

the "cookie thief"


"Do not accuse a man for no reason -- when he has done you no harm." Proverbs 3:30

A woman was waiting at an airport one night,
with several long hours before her flight.
she hunted for a book in the airport shop,
bought a bag of cookies and found a place to drop.
She was engrossed in her book but happened to see,
that the man sitting beside her, as bold as can be,
grabbed a cookie or two from the bag between,
which she tried to ignore to avoid a scene.
She read, munched cookies, and watched the clock,
as the gutsy "cookie thief" diminished her stock.
She was getting more irritated as minutes ticked by,
thinking, "if I wasn't so nice, I would blacken his eye!"
with each cookie she took, he took one too.
When only one was left, she wondered what he'd do.
With a smile on his face and a nervous laugh,
he took the last cookie and broke it in half.
He offered her half, as he ate the other,
she snatched it from him and thought, "oh brother,
this guy has some nerve and he's also rude.
why he didn't even show any gratitude!"
she had never known when she had been so galled,
and sighed with relief when her flight was called.
She gathered her belongings and headed to the gate,
refusing to look back at the "thieving ingrate."
she boarded the plane and sank in her seat,
then sought her book, which was almost complete.
As she reached in her baggage, she gasped with surprise:
there were her cookies in front of her eyes.
"if mine are here," she moaned with despair,
then the others were his and he tried to share!
Too late to apologize, she realized with grief,
that she was the rude one, the ingrate, the thief!


+Valerie Cox